The Art of Showing Up

March 9, 2020
Miller (Dot Journaling), deputy editor of Vice’s Life vertical, provides digital natives an easy, entertaining guide to adult friendships. Her stance that “self-knowledge is at the core of showing up” forms the basis of her instructions—outlined in the first section, “Showing Up for Yourself,”—on identifying one’s own values, preferences, emotions, needs, and boundaries. Miller litters her advice with exclamation marks and asides, creating a sincere tone that feels like speaking with a close confidante. Filled with many spirited aphorisms (“You—yes, you!—can do these things! They may feel hard, but they are good and fine!”), the book’s second section, “Showing Up for Others,” is less charming but more instructional and provides readers with scripts to navigate a variety of social encounters, strategies for making new friends, and advice for “when they’re going through hard shit.” Miller starts each section with brief general principles, then relies heavily on lists and action steps, which will make for easy reference and perusal, and her charismatic voice will appeal to any reader of self-help. Those looking for help braving the social unknown will want to take a look.

Starred review from May 1, 2020

Miller, senior lifestyle editor at BuzzFeed, defines showing up as the core of creating and maintaining strong meaningful bonds with friends, family, coworkers, and internet pals. She begins by suggesting a set of values to uphold when showing up for yourself, such as developing intuition, self-awareness, and vulnerability, and proceeds to provide ways to make and keep connections with others, such as being generous with one's attention, supporting others' goals, and making time for family and friends even though our lives are busy. Advice that is particularly sound includes the "dos and don'ts" of what to say to a friend going through a big life event and how to have a difficult conversation with a friend. VERDICT Excellent tips for forging relationships with others and becoming an even better "old" friend.

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