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How to Die in Paris

A Memoir

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

How to Die in Paris is an edgy, poetic, often darkly comic, memoir of a young middle-class black woman who escapes a tortured past in New York to pursue a new life in Europe—only to find herself broke, desperate, and contemplating suicide on the streets of Paris. 

Penniless, scared, and hoping for rescue, Thomas turns to a series of unlikely male suitors: an impoverished Italian who exposes her to the reality of immigrant struggle, a fast-talking squatter who lures her into Paris’s street youth culture, and a beautiful Tunisian who takes her home . . . only to introduce her to a world of pain. Each encounter awakens in her memories from her childhood-memories of the abuse and racism she experienced at the hands of her mother—and forces her to confront the darkness in her past, even as she struggles to survive in the present. Though the trials she faces in Paris are often harrowing, Thomas is anything but self-pitying, often culling humor from gritty moments, and she finds goodness in the small blessings that come her way: a library that offers warmth and escape, a sandwich abandoned in a phone booth, the generosity of strangers, and especially, the wonder of Paris itself. 

Ultimately, being homeless in the City of Light frees her of the denial and defenses that have been holding her back all her life-revealing a broader world too beautiful to leave.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      December 19, 2011
      This haunting and heartbreaking memoir tells the story of Thomas's 2004 move from New York City to Europe, where she decided to kill herself. "he only thing left for me in this life," she writes, "was to see Paris once, before I died." Broke, homeless, and jobless, Thomas wanders the Parisian streets for nearly three weeks, suicidal but unable to commit the act. She asks poetically, "How do you say, 'Help me?' in French? How do you say it in English?" Interspersed with her Parisian wanderings, Thomas recalls her childhood in Newark, N.J., where she grew up with an abusive mother whom she clearly despises, but feels sympathetic toward: "I know I should hate herâ¦But I also can't help but wonder. What happened to her?" Still, she fondly remembers the good times with her family and refrains from vilifying her mother. Near the end, she writes of a recurring dream in which she travels back in time and whisks her four-year-old self out of Newark and away to Paris before she can suffer the forthcoming abuse. She advises her child self, "that's what Mom wanted: to make you as crazy as she was. If you commit suicide, you'll be letting the terrorist win." This is a phenomenal and courageous debut by a talented young writer.

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  • English

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