7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You

March 15, 2005
These two useful books tackle the thorny issue of parents, kids, and communication. Fox and Frankel, both 16, recount several problematic parent/teen conversations (you've all had them) and exactly what goes wrong between parties. From curfews and homework to tattoos and drugs, these two teens from New York can help parents from anywhere learn to talk with their kids without threatening, prying, or becoming hysterical; keeping communication open and honest isn't impossible.

We can participate in our teens' world, say teacher Lippincott and psychologist Deutsch (Massachusetts General Hosp.) or we can be fooled into thinking our teens are part of ours. Fact: your teenagers won't, and can't, talk to you the way you'd like. Seven issues stand in the way, including haywire brains, how easily teens distort the truth, so-called friendships that are really adolescent power plays, and the sheer love of risk taking. Overwhelming? Perhaps. But the authors seek to make life easier for parents and teens. There are three simple "Rules of Play": stay safe, show respect, and keep in touch. Above all, keep talking to each another. A highly thought-provoking approach that gives parents lots of passwords and guidelines to keep communication open. Both books are recommended for public libraries, though Lippincott and Deutsch's may be the safer bet. -Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA

Copyright 2005 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

February 1, 2005
Any resource that helps parents decipher the thoughts, feelings, and actions of teenagers is sure to have great appeal. Lippincott and Deutsch, an educator and a psychologist, offer straightforward advice on understanding teens and keeping them out of harm's way as much as possible. The first section of the book reviews psychological and physiological research on brain development in adolescents. The authors then identify seven important facts to keep in mind, among them: truth is a malleable concept for teens, they suffer from distorted self-images, and they are attracted to risks. Throughout, the authors focus on three clear and simple rules of engagement--stay safe, show respect, and keep in touch--with helpful vignettes to demonstrate how parents can apply the rules in a variety of situations aimed not at controlling teens but minimizing their exposure to risky situations. Parents of teens will recognize the us-and-them dialogues and will find encouragement and guidance.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2005, American Library Association.)